There is a Direct Marketing hook to this piece…

… I promise. Just hang with me.

No matter what deity you subscribe to, we can probably agree that I’ve been dealt a raw hand being born into the Cleveland sports family.  Since moving to the Twin Cities, the average Minnesotan loves to recite the litany of Cleveland sports tragedies with glee on their lips and a mischievous sparkle in their eyes – there is little empathy in sports.  Generally, this elicits an angry retort, although on a few occasions I wander away from the conversation like a sad dejected Charlie Brown.  The Indians, Cavs and Browns have all caused me heartache and pain in my thirty-five years.

The mind-numbing futility of the Browns offense this year has really sapped any enjoyment I get on Sunday.  As the president of the Twin Cities Browns Backers, I take my lifeless, dull eyes and crushed soul down to the local watering hole dutifully every week to spend three hours of ineffective therapy with other displaced Clevelanders. It’s become a chore to watch football.  This morning however, I awoke with a spring in my step and a small flash of light in my darkened heart. Today, I was reborn like a character from a television show that just won’t die.

So get to the point already!

Growing up in Cleveland also trains you to root for THE Ohio State University Buckeyes, and it is Michigan week.  As I write this post, it is 7:46 in the morning and Michigan still stinks.  But you already knew that!  In full disclosure, I went to a small Ohio College known for its football failures and I also attended UMaine.  Go Black Bear Hockey!  But my college football loyalties will always be attached to OSU.  I’ve often referred to them as the best professional football team in Ohio. I hold dear more jokes bashing Michigan than any other comedy.  I brought my Buckeye Gnome with me to work today.  On Saturday, if you cut me open, I’ll bleed scarlet.  Wait!  I don’t think that metaphor works very well.  I think you get the point.

True story. A few years back the wife was attending law school at Iowa and she scored tickets to the Buckeye game in Iowa City.  Our seats were in the end zone area and located in a section populated with crusty, old, weathered codgers. The type which comes to mind when you think retired farmer. I’ll wait while you create that image in your head because it adds to the flavor. One of those respected gentleman asked me through gritted teeth (gritted because of the piece of straw in his mouth – stay with the image people), “why do you guys want to fire John Cooper so bad?  He wins ten games every year.”

My response was surprisingly brief.  “Because he doesn’t beat Michigan.”

A quick Cleveland/UMaine tale of woe before I call it quits today – just to make my office mates happy.  The year I moved back to Cleveland, I might have been the only person in Northeast Ohio to care about the Frozen Four.  After, I was able to convince my regular Irish Pub in Cleveland Heights to show the game for me, I threw on my Black Bear hockey jersey, drew myself up to the bar alone, and grabbed a Guinness.  The bar was reasonably packed and my solitary screaming at the TV received snickers and laughter from the other patrons. With minutes left in the game, it looked like UMaine was going to bring home another title. I was elated. My bartender bought me a beer and I was all smiles. Who doesn’t like free beer?  In seconds that changed. The Minnesota Gophers scored with seconds left and an empty net to tie the game and scratched out an overtime victory. I was devastated. I realized after a few seconds that crickets were chirping in the bar and everyone was staring at me. I took a deep breath, looked around and with a smirk I said, “Its okay everyone, I’m from Cleveland. I am used to this.” My new friends laughed knowingly, but seconds later reflectively looked at their drinks like a sad adult Charlie Brown.

But like the t-shirt says, “Cleveland, You Gotta Be Tough.”

So here’s the Direct Marketing hook. I think this is a great example of how to use a blog to connect with your customers on a level deeper than just pushing product.  So if any of you folks live in the Twin Cities, and are long-suffering fans of the Cleveland Browns, you can meet us at Mackenzie’s in downtown Minneapolis. If you want to watch OSU beat up Michigan with fellow Buckeyes you can head to Majors Sports Cafe in Bloomington.

Have a great rivalry weekend no matter the team you root for, but if you hear Hang On Sloopy let out a little O-H-I-O for me.

Share

Leave a Reply